Last year, I remember myself lazing through the whole day. Doing nothing. I remember even wanting to watch SNSD (they were airing some Korean festival if I'm not wrong) but I kinda slept through it. What nonsense. Hahah.
Well, for me, this year, it isn't very different from last year. I am rotting away my day. Just that I had to feel crap halfway through the day....
Every year this very day, I feel most proud of my dad. My father. Though I'm not sure if he parachuted this year, but whenever I hear his name (for some of the years) I really feel so proud of him, and maybe for once I feel proud to be his son. The feeling is overwhelming, always.
Though my heart really aches, whenever I think why are we so distant.. It really kills me from the inside whenever I think why is my family situation so, unusual. Complicated.
Nevertheless, I'm always grateful to my dad. He might not have lived with me through my childhood, but I'm really glad I have him to depend on when I really need help..
I honestly don't know what lies ahead of me, things in my house might get really worse... I'm really scared deep down inside, sometimes to the point I really just wanna hide and never come out.
Next year, I might be in NS and might not get to see him at his best. Well but I really just hope, that things won't get any uglier anymore...
I really hope...
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