Been awhile

Its been about.... 8weeks since I last blogged? Felt like a year..



Throughout these past 8weeks, I've been wanting to blog regularly! I promise that isn't a lie. Its just that, whenever I want to actually sit down and type a post, I just can't seem to login, and start typing the bloody post! I just decide to navigate away from the page and there you go, ended up not blogging!



Its been awhile, quite awhile. From a frequent blogger I used to be, as much as daily, until now, its weeks for a post, or very irregular. Hmmm, I can't point narrow down why I've lost the "feel"  to blog, but it comes and go. Just doesn't last long enough for me to type a decent post, with pictures.



Currently having internship. Been 2months since it started, and I guess all is fine? Can't say I'm enjoying it but neither am I hating it. You know the pros and cons when having internship to school. Things you don't have to worry about, like exams or assignments. Then again, work also has its fair share of workload.



Sometimes, I just wanna be transparent. The kind of feeling like, you wanna just take a break from everything around you including people around you. Family, friends and anyone in your life! Not to leave them, but just to be away from them, to see what happens next, and to live without them. There's just never ending amount of things to worry for. When something decides to resolve, the next minute you know you've got something to worry about all over again, and it just never ends!!



There's just too many things I've been suppressing all these while. Things I don't say, and things I decided not to show. Just because I don't say anything doesn't mean I don't think about it. Everyone have their fair share of worries and I'm not saying that I'm the only sad and lonely soul. No I'm not lonely at all! I've got all my friends around me and they've been really good to me all these while. I more than grateful to them.



Its just that, sometimes, I guess I just want to be alone. I just want to see who's gonna run after me, after me running after people all these time. Its not about attention seeking, but just to know who really will be there when I need them. Half the time, I don't tell anyone whats bothering because, it will only end up making them feel more useless because they are so helpless about it. I just keep suppressing and bottling everything. Anything and everything.



It really kills from the inside whenever I feel so down, but yet I can't talk to anyone, knowing they wouldn't know what to do. I just want to feel okay ):



Enough said... I guess I just hope anyone who still reads this blog, hope you're doing fine yeahh? Just gotta keep surviving hoping I won't explode anytime soon.