Fulfilling

The weekends that went by was really one of the fastest one I've spent since awhile! Met up with fellow secondary school bunch namely Yiwei, Darien, Jinhao, Nigel, Jiapei, Liling and Shiauyi on Saturday! Oh before that I met up with Guoyuan too, in attempt to get shoes from warehouse sale but failed attempt. Shall strike earlier the next time there's warehouse sale! (so uncle, hah)

In the evening, met them and sat a car Darien was driving for the first time! Woah, feels alot different when a friend is driving! Hahah, he just got his licence and already driving us around, thumbs up for you Darien! Headed over to Bishan for dinner @ Manhattan Fish Market and it was gooood! Loved the signature dish, fish dory! I actually was filled and to think I thought it was gonna be the opposite. Haha, and yes it was halloween so everyone and everyone is hyped up. Its nice to see places having costumes party once awhile.

Then we headed to the prawn farm and started prawning! Wasn't too long till I caught my first prawn! We had chicken heart and worms as our baits. Was fairly interesting experience, minus the holding of prawn, and the other cruel stuff (like removing its pincer as well as cooking it alive and then eating it)

I must say the prawn really tasted really fresh! Plus there was this group of aunties who gave us big-ass prawns for us to eat! Was realllly good. The prawning was 3hour slot so we ended about 1am Sunday morning and started cooking it and left the farm at about 2am... Reached home at about 3am and slept about 4am?

Sunday, yesterday was a day spent with Elisa, Jwei and Teckliang! Went to the zoo and my memory can't seem to recall when was the last time I went there but it was definitely waaaaaay long ago. Met really early at AMK and book bus over to the zoo! Quickly started walking, taking pictures, had fun! After that, headed back to AMK for fat dinner Popeyes + KOI and home sweet home. Haven had proper sleep, and class is at 9am later. Great job Jonathan.

Well but the weekend was really well spent. Really enjoyed myself through minus the thought of how much money I've spent in just 2 days is...............................

Just a quick wordy post, will be posting photos from the zoo tomorrow or later when I'm free! School's gonna be hectic from this week onwards so gotta keep myself prep for it. Fingers crossed!

Just a thought in my mind; sometimes the best kind of friends you can have comes in the most surprising ways and unexpected people. There are just endless possibilities with an individual and you never know when you'll be close to someone; it happens so unknowingly. This very moment, I'm glad to have shared wonderful memories with alot of people around me. It was really happy while the fun lasted and I'm glad I can continue to have fun with alot of people, primary, secondary and Poly of course. I'm not going to deny that I do feel upset over what these people might do to hurt one another/myself but to share that special memory and special moment, really something worth holding on to- and never letting it go. People come and people go, but if I've ever shared a happy memory with you and we no longer as close as before since we all moved on to another phase on life in different places...... still thankyou.

Something we can look back to, and who knows we might be close once again. No friend would want to be drifted from one another unless things happen/change, because if you want to, then you're not a friend to begin with.

Really need to be crashing onto my bed now. Goodnight if you happen to read my blog, stayed on to the end of post and can related to how I feel :)

Creativity

I can foresee the days ahead of a Marketing student, my creativity will be sucked dryyyy and completely gone with nothing left, not even a drip from all the upcoming assignments and projects. Hmmm..... okay shall take this as a challenge!



Almost end of the week, school's been fairly nice, considering we have 2days off! CDS today was interesting, looking forward to Thursday since its probably one of the most easiest lesson of the week! Meeting clients next week already! Already have 2! Ah, gotta get used to this.



The weekend ahead is fulfilling though! Having favourite 126 dimsum tomorrow 8) Fattywoo!!! Prawning on Sat and Zoo on Sunday! Gonna be the last carefree weekends and it will not be the same again.



Ah, there's also CCA camp next week. Hmmm, hopefully by then I can get my lomo photos I've been waiting for! Hmmm, on a side note, SNSD (I won't be surprised if people chance upon my blog just because of this LOL) ticket selling is this coming Saturday and I can't decide if I wanna go! Darn this. Hate that feeling, you know you'll regret if you don't see them. Gahhh, tough decisions.



Hmmm, gonna do my accountings later and by that I mean my bank accountings, hahaha, to count and see if my current assets are able to support my wants. Ah well.



Have this weird insecure feeling about whatever I'm doing now. Like taking this major, so on and so forth but I guess just gotta push it through. No? Just like I how I felt I was in the worse course back in year 1/2 but the feeling slowly fade away.



Fighting? Yes.

New Beginning

School just started, kinda. Submission of SIP report! Finally! Though I'm still upset over the fact that I'm given low marks for my appraisal but I guess I got no one to blame but myself..... Sigh.



That aside, never felt better seeing everyone together again.



Its only the start, but school have been good, considering there's days off, today and tomorrow! Good way to start a new semester? I reckon so. Got into Japanese CDS, hopefully all is cool!



Enough of that. Shall enjoy whats remain of holidays! Or rather, enjoy the start of a new and last semester!

Mixture

First time on my iTouch!


It's been a short 3weeks break and now school is reopening! My oh my. So quickly and it's the last semester of my Poly education!!!


Hmmm keeping this post short, shall update again over the weekends! :) so have a good one!!!



(ps the photo option for iTouch doesn't allow you to arrange it thus it's at the bottom! That's the donut I ate just now hehe.)

Family

Up awake, trying to get myself to sleep. Okay does that even make sense? Like I wanna sleep but I shouldn't be here? Okay you get the drift.

So had a great day yesterday with Jwei and TL! Just wasting time at town doing nothing. Attempt to get my Vans shoes and to my surprise (!!!) secondary friend told me he's interning at Vans! Thats quite interesting, but no he isn't in Retail Management or shoe course (is there even such a course?!) A fellow classmate from sec 3-4, Guoyuan! He said he could get better offer so crossing my fingers he really can!

Slack around town, got myself a positive film and I'm gonna attempt to use it on my disderi! Okay most people hardly use a positive film on disderi but I think I'm gonna try and see how it goes! Can't wait for my lomo photos with my CCA mate! She's got 4 of mine with her!

So we were enjoying ourselves, going back to secondary school days. I can't help but to always do so. Imagine how would life be now, without meeting the people you met, and without getting closer to people who you are close to now. I could have been in NYP now in fact, now that I think back, I was so sure of myself, that I could enter top 3 of my choices (both JPSAE and JAE) There was just this weird feeling I was so sure of, I would enter in these 3 choices. Always wondered, if I didn't, what would life be and where would I stand? I can't even imagine the life different from what it is now.

Then we talked about friends and family. You know, what I feel is, there's this magical thing call- Bond. Its something that does wonders to your relationship with, be it your friends and family. Its not something given or fostered overtime. Okay I sound like I don't make any sense but its like, a bond is something which you either have or you don't. You can't fake a bond. Each individuals you made contact with, its like you already have a bond there, just waiting to be discovered whether if its a good one, or a not so good one. Kinda pre-determined whether or not will your relationship with this person be good or bad.

Which kinda boils down to family. You know, too many countless times I've thought to myself, friends are forever if possible and I hope so but one day they all are gonna get themselves partners, and even so, they all have burdens on their own. Everyone has a fair share of the problem pie. Everyone has their own problems and no one can determine how big or small it is to their lives. Something small to someone could mean the world to another person! So who are we to judge how little or massive anyone's problems is? So you can never say someone's problem is smaller than yours or what not. It just isn't the same.

So....both of them were talking about how their parents treats them, and how funny their parents are. It was cool though! I love listening to people's experiences and how they live with family members. Their mother, father, siblings, cousins and anyone! I just love listening to people's story. I could sit down all day, listening to my friends share all their stories they have! Anything and everything!! You know thats true! Hahah, I mean I'm not bragging but I really love it when people share their joy with me! Its a nice thing.

Yeah but on a side note, I can't help feeling abit upset though. I mean, hearing all these makes me wonder if I'll ever share something like that with any of my family? Don't get me wrong! I do love hearing all this, but its just that, sometimes I can't help feeling this way. After all, since young I do yearn for a happy family and I'll be honest about this, I still do. By happy family I mean, a complete family, having all 4 of us sitting down in a table, eating and maybe say, watching some television show and laughing together? If I don't remember wrongly, the closest I've felt having a family-like dinner was with when I had steamboat with my Poly friends? Or having a meal with a group of friends, be it primary, secondary or Poly. Just a simple meal, nothing fancy or grand, just a meal and everyone all together. Simply just enjoying each other's lame, cheesy jokes, or someone snatching food, or everyone talking about how their day went.

Reality is, I'll never be able to fulfill this simple wish. Every time I think of my family, or when I come across the word family, I can't help but to think of my friends instead. Is this even normal!? I don't know! The bond I share with any of my immediate family members is hatred, anger, sadness, disappointment and not forgetting gratefulness (to my father) but nothing more than that. I can't imagine anything happier with them. For my father, he's been out of my life, for so many years. You know, like how drama depicts it, when a parent goes out of your life for long period of your life, especially your childhood, its something you cannot go back and relive it again. I can't go all child-like and expect them to treat me like a kid. I can't go back in time, to experience the love that I've been yearning for. I can't turn back into time and do things differently!!!

Things will never be the same again.

Now the conflicting feeling comes in, half of me always tell myself that I should look forward to what is ahead and not dwell on the past but the truth is I can't! To me, life still goes on yes, I still try to make the best of what I can, but that doesn't mean I can get over what has happened to me. This side of me tells myself I shouldn't go back and bring misery to myself, but the other half knows that these feelings, insecurities and fear I've felt since young, it can't just go away just like that. Half of me thinks time will heal everything but the other half just can't let it go.... Ugh.

I'm not gonna even begin with my mother or brother. I don't know if I should be thankful in any ways at all that because of them, I have to go through so much shit, pain, misery and anything bad you can think of. Make myself stronger? Honestly I don't know.

On top of that..... when I face the crisis of my life, when that very thing happened to me, there was no one there. No one at all. My mother just brushed it off, and treat as if nothing happened, or she thought I was strong enough to deal with it. I had no one to talk to. All I needed was someone to hear me out. How did I survive? Just exactly how...... My brother? I don't know what to say.

The fear still lives inside me and I still don't know how to go about doing something about it. I guess maybe I just have to admit to fate, or destiny that this is the life I lead. Be positive about it? Never knew how to go about doing so.

All I wanted was someone or something that would hold on to me..

Sorry this had to end in such a sad tone, I really tried and I'm still trying but its just too tiring to keep this going :(

Summary of the past 6months

Thought of an unusual way of summarizing the past 5-6months.

Here it goes.

April

   

May

 

July

   

August

   

September

   

Yeah, so thats what happened for the past 6months. They are just pictures mainly what happened. Of course this isn't everything that happened, but I thought I should just close up what happened for the past 6months.



So its already 2nd week into holidays and yeah I'm sure savoring every bit of the holidays. A break needed indeed. Report's a chore but I'm getting it done bit by bit so that isn't too bad. Well but school is still the best place to get my work done. I can't seem to focus when I'm at home. Anyone wants to head out to churn the report? I'm game for it! Rachel? Hahah if you're reading this!



Everyone is leaving for holidays too! Really envious that they can go on holidays while I have to stay in Singapore. No, Singapore's fine just kinda sick with home drama that happens on a daily basis. Not cool. Oh well, can't complain too much I guess. Its either I start saving for graduation trip or I doubt I'll ever go overseas until after NS........or during NS when I'm required to go overseas? Sigh, I still hope I could really really have an overseas trip with my friends before I enlist!



Holidays really is gonna end soon. Soon enough we'll be dawned upon reality that its our last semester of our Poly education! Its really the last semester. Time flies like they always say.



There's still a fair bit of people who I've yet to catchup with! If you're seeing this just beep me! Don't really have major plans during this holidays so would love to meet up with whoever I'm missing! Been watching Glee! Okay so yes I'm slow and only starting on season 1 but its really a good show. I mean, the only reason why I only decided to start watching is because I wanted to wait for everything to come out! So now I've got 2seasons to watch but sometimes I've got the urge to watch season 3 first but it probably wouldn't make much sense.



Gotta enjoy what I can, this holidays is really the last holidays and the next long holidays, is really the end of Poly life.